I'm having a moment

I'm having a moment.

I am not a very organized person, but I like to say (and to an extent, believe) that my chaos is planned. Growing up, as a result of my parenting, of course, my room was a mess, a royal mess. Like if the Queen was caught in an orgy, high on coke, dressed in a furry outfit, mess. But there were paths, I knew vaguely what was where, albeit crumpled on the floor, there was order in my chaos.

Now certainly as I've grown up, I've become better at periodically battling back the mess and making more order of the chaos. I like piles. Piles make any thing look more organized. It's perhaps a crutch to keep me from freaking out at the chaos, because in some small way, there is order, my order, in all the noise.

This is not the case with the garden right now.

I believed the cucumbers would stop at the top of the trellis. Where they would go after that, I have no idea, but they would stay where they were told to be, piled if you will, and though sprawling, they would be ordered.

I believed that the green beans would grow quickly and compactly, ordered between the rows of tomatoes, neatly in front of the potatoes and then they would be done and we could move on with the summer.

I believed that the patty pan squash would grow up and swirl neatly out, displacing the beans and the arugula, as their own season faded, politely taking their places, that were kept warm by them, earlier in the summer.

I believed that the potatoes would grow tall, flower and then fade, leaving behind mountains of potatoes, ready for the fall.

The tomatoes, I had such faith in, there was to be this genuis method of staking, weaving twine between the vines to hold them straight up, compactly and uniformly, held taunt by stakes placed at either end. They would reach upwards and be graceful and weave themselves effortlessly through the twine.

These are all things I believed. I had faith. There would be piles of vegetables and it would be ordered. I would conquer Mother Nature and make order of her chaos.

I will pause now and allow you to quiet down with your laughter. Done now? Great.

As I'm sure you've guessed by now, the garden is anything but ordered. Shit has literally gone bananas. I've taken to just walking through the garden staking plants up and tying back plants with twine and bamboo poles. Trying desperately to pile plants on top of themselves. It's not really working. Yesterday, in a fit, I ripped out two basil plants that I had planted next to the patty pan squashed, but that had now been subsumed by the squash. It was entirely reactionary; I put them in another part of the garden, but today they looked miserable. I can't blame them. 

Of course, this is a blessing, an actual gift, but it would have been nice if perhaps stuff stayed politely piled on top of themselves. Neatly. Really, the only thing that is at all ordered is the little herb garden I've planted on the side, in neat little bunches.

Tomorrow I'll have a really awesome post, where I'm not having a nutter panic attack episode. I promise. Stay tuned.